Repentance--How Can I Be Sure?

The words repent and repentance are Bible words, words hardly ever used outside of a religious context.  In reading one’s New Testament, beginning with the gospel accounts, the first preaching that is recorded is that of John the Baptist preaching in the wilderness saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matt. 3:2 NKJV)  In Matt. 4:17 we see Jesus preaching the same message.  The call to men from inspiration from the very beginning of the unfolding of the New Testament was a call to repentance.  Jesus said it was a matter so important that it was repent or perish, an either-or proposition. (Luke 13:3, 5) 

Repentance is a command to all men everywhere in all time to come as long as the earth shall stand.  You and I are not exempt.  Paul, in his speech in the Areopagus in Athens, made this statement:

“Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent, because He has appointed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by the man whom he has ordained.  He has given assurance of this to all by raising him from the dead.” (Acts 17:30-31 NKJV)

After his resurrection, while meeting with his apostles, Jesus said, “Thus it is written, and thus it was necessary for the Christ to suffer and to rise from the dead the third day, and that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.” (Luke 24:46-47 NKJV)  It was thus essential then and essential now that repentance be preached.  We see the beginning of such preaching shortly thereafter.

In the very first gospel sermon ever preached, after Christ’s ascension back to heaven and the Holy Spirit’s descending upon the apostles on the Day of Pentecost, in Acts 2, the conclusion of Peter’s inspired sermon was, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins.” (Acts 2:38 NKJV)  Repentance was made essential to salvation (as was baptism).

Who must repent?  Sinners.  “For we have previously charged both Jews and Greeks that they are all under sin.  As it is written:  ‘There is none righteous, no, not one.” (Rom. 3:9-10 NKJV)  “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Rom. 3:23 NKJV)  Repentance is repentance of sin against God.  God “commands all men everywhere to repent.” (Acts 17:30)

Well, if I am commanded to repent on the penalty of repent or perish what must I do?  What does it mean to repent?  It is very common to find people who do not understand and who simply think to repent means to be sorry. 

If sorrow was repentance then Judas, the betrayer of the Lord, was a saved man.  The Bible says, “Then Judas, his betrayer, seeing that he had been condemned, was remorseful and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders.” (Matt. 27:3 NKJV)  His sorrow was so great he went out and hung himself.

All of that be as it may Jesus said of Judas, “The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed!   It would have been good for that man if he had not been born.” (Matt. 26:24 NKJV)  That could not have been said if Judas was to be saved.

Besides this statement we have Paul’s comment in 2 Cor. 7:10 that “the sorrow of the world produces death.” (NKJV)  Since we know assuredly that the sorrow Judas had led to death (spiritual death for he was not saved according to Jesus) we know his sorrow was of the world.  A lesson we ought to learn from this fact is that a man or woman can be as sorry as sorry can be and yet not repent nor be pleasing to God.

Paul speaks of another kind of sorrow in the same passage in 2 Cor. 7, a sorrow that leads to repentance.  He says, “Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance.  For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing.” (2 Cor. 7:9 NKJV)  From this, we learn that there is a type of sorrow that leads to repentance.

In 2 Cor. 7:10 it is called “godly sorrow.”  “For godly sorrow produces repentance to salvation, not to be regretted.” (NKJV)  Peter is an example of a man who experienced godly sorrow.  He denied Jesus three times when Jesus was in the custody of those who would be responsible for his death.  Peter had deep regret and sorrow and went away and “wept bitterly.” (Matt. 26:75 NKJV)

What then is the difference between the two types of sorrow, say the sorrow of Judas versus the sorrow of Peter?  Namely this, godly sorrow leads one back to God.  Judas fled from God.  That was not something he had to do.  Peter said on the Day of Pentecost to those assembled there that day, “God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.” (Acts 2:36 NKJV)  See also Acts 2:23.  They were guilty of crucifying the Lord as much as Judas was and yet we see later in that same chapter 3,000 of them repenting of that sin that very day, being baptized, and becoming Christians.  Judas could have repented also but he chose another course.  Peter, while he had denied the Lord after the Lord’s arrest, came back to the Lord.

There are a couple of lessons here for us.  (1) Do not underestimate God’s love and willingness to forgive.  Did Judas do that?  (2) Do not destroy yourself by despair.  I speak of destroying yourself spiritually as did Judas (although, admittedly, he destroyed himself physically as well).  There are men and women who are sorry for the things they have done but will not turn to God for forgiveness thinking they have been too evil to be forgiven.  They despair.  This is a worldly sorrow.  It shows a lack of faith in God’s love and willingness to forgive and thus a lack of faith in God and his word.

Others are also sorry for their sins but it is because they have been caught in them and have suffered as a result (adulterers, those having affairs, are often an example of this type).  They are sorry for a reason but it is not a sorrow that has anything to do with God or God’s laws. They are sorry because they were caught.   This is another type of worldly sorrow.

Godly sorrow on the other hand leads one to throw himself upon God and his mercy and grace.  Godly sorrow is not repentance but is the thing that leads to it.  If you are being led to a thing then you have not yet arrived there although you will in due time by continuing the course.

Repentance is the actual surrendering of one’s will to God’s will.  It is a determination to turn from sin to God, from unrighteousness to righteousness; it is a matter of the human mind and will.  The idea is that I will cease being my lord in life.  Jesus will now be my Lord.  His will will be my will.  It is a determination to follow God.  It is the determination to make Jesus my Lord and Savior with all that implies.

It is not yet reformation of life for reformation is the fruit of repentance.  John the Baptist commanded “bear fruits worthy of repentance.” (Matt. 3:8 NKJV)  Reformation is, to a degree, a measure of repentance.  A man who truly repents reforms his life.

Let me clarify that last statement.  There are sincere people who truly have repented who come to doubt their conversion at this very point.  When we obey the gospel we have it in our minds that we are going to live an almost perfect life thereafter.  We are committed as we ought to be.  Unfortunately, we never live the perfect life.  When we next sin we begin doubting our conversion.  Did I really repent?  If I did why did I commit this sin?  Doubts arise about our conversion.  We begin to wonder am I doomed to just live my life a hopeless sinner.

There is no such thing as living a sin-free life after conversion unless of course you die almost immediately upon being converted.  The apostle John in speaking to Christians says, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8-9 NKJV)

Repentance, unlike baptism, is not just a one-time act.  While there is no true conversion without repentance we are unable to live sin-free over any extended period of time.  David Lipscomb once made the comment that he doubted that any man ever lived a single day without sin.  Whether or not that is true I do not know but my suspicion is that if not true it is not far from it.  There are sins of commission, sins of omission, sins of ignorance, sins of the mind, of heart, and attitude.  We are what we are and none of us will live without sin after our conversion.

We must also bear in mind that if we could be perfect law keepers we could be saved by law, by works, and that is clearly not the case.  All who are sincere in their Christian life will readily bear witness to the fact that despite their best efforts they fail in keeping the law of Christ from time to time.  We can bear witness for we can name our sins.  We know our failures.

The Law of Moses was designed to bring the Jews to Christ by showing them this very thing; namely, you cannot keep God’s law perfectly and thus the road to salvation cannot be found in perfect obedience. (Gal. 3:24, Gal. 3:10)  That was true under the Law of Moses and under the law of God under which we live today (the New Testament).  The need for God’s grace is obvious.

The New Testament is full of admonitions to those who are already Christians but who are involved in sin to repent.  Read First and Second Corinthians.  Even the apostle Peter needed to repent (read Gal. 2:11-13).  In the books of First and Second Corinthians Paul does not raise the question whether or not those brethren who were caught up in sin were genuinely converted.  They were true Christians but they had nevertheless sinned after their conversion and needed to repent.  Let me list a few examples.

There was the man who had his father’s wife in a sexually immoral relationship (1 Cor. 5:1); there were those he wrote of in 2 Cor. 12:21 who he feared might not have “repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and licentiousness which they have practiced.” (NKJV)  They were also taking one another to courts of law (not an act of love). (1 Cor. 6:7) 

We could also read about various churches in the Book of Revelation chapters two and three who needed to repent in one way or another.  We could talk about the Galatians.

But my point is this--if you were sincere in heart when you obeyed the gospel with regards to your repentance and you then followed through and completed your obedience of faith as per Acts 2:38 being baptized for the remission of sins (Acts 2:38, Acts 22:16), baptized into Christ (Gal. 3:27, Rom. 6:3), then there is no reason down the road to look back and wonder if you were truly converted, to doubt your conversion.  Many have done that and we need more teaching about it so minds can be set at ease on that point.

You will never live perfectly.  If you are a human being you will sin again after your conversion (dare I say many times?).  That does not mean you were never converted.  It does mean you need to repent just as Peter needed to in Gal. 2.  Having repented, confess your sin and pray and ask for God’s forgiveness and ask for the forgiveness of any you may have personally sinned against. (1 John 1:9, James 5:16)  God will forgive if we will repent and ask his forgiveness.

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God's Willingness to Forgive

There are people who feel God is so full of loving kindness that he will readily forgive us of any and all of our sins if we just ask him.  All we need to do is pray and ask.  We may be kind of sorry about whatever transgression we committed, sorry about judgment at least, so feel we must ask God’s forgiveness but the truth is if the same set of circumstances were to arise again we would do the same thing all over again.  Somehow we feel we were justified in the act we committed considering the circumstances.  Nevertheless, we feel obligated to ask for forgiveness. 

We tell ourselves the temptation was too great and thus God understands even though he has said in his word through Paul the apostle, “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (1 Cor. 10:13 NKJV)  We thus go on living pretty much the way we would have had we never obeyed the gospel except that we go through the exercise of asking God’s forgiveness from time to time.  We never really repent from the heart. 

I do not want to leave the impression that committing the same sin more than once implies that we have not repented.  It can be very tough to resist the temptation of a sin that we are attracted to.  If we could only commit a sin once but then if we did it a second time God would not forgive us who could be saved?  However, remember, forgiveness is dependent on true repentance.  

What I have been talking about is an attitude, an attitude of recklessness and carelessness, an attitude of almost indifference to righteousness, an attitude of no real commitment to battle sin.  Just do it and then ask God to forgive and all is well.  

I believe the Bible teaches that a man might commit the same sin many times and God would still forgive him provided his attitude was right, the sorrow genuine, and the repentance true from the depths of the heart each time.  So, we are not keeping count of how many times a particular sin might be committed and God still be willing to forgive but we are talking about an attitude that is often found.  Rest assured if your sin breaks your heart and, as a Christian, you ask God’s forgiveness he is merciful and will forgive.  If you are determined to fight the temptation when confronted again, even though you might fail, God will forgive. 

Another attitude we sometimes see in men is the attitude that my sins are so great or so numerous, and perhaps my sins have hurt so many people, God could not possibly forgive me.  Since we are talking about Christians we are talking about those who have wandered away, become involved in sin, and have separated themselves voluntarily from their brethren.  So, we see two groups--one feeling that God will forgive without a thought about my state of mind or spirituality and the other thinking God will never forgive.  Both are in error.  I believe a study of Manasseh, king of Judah could prove profitable for both groups. 

I want to give you an account of a man so evil that we are horrified as we read about the things he did.  I read from the English Standard Version of the Bible about King Manasseh of Judah as found in 2 Kings 21:1-12 and 16. 

“Manasseh was twelve years old when he began to reign, and he reigned fifty-five years in Jerusalem.  His mother’s name was Hephzibah.  And he did what was evil in the sight of the LORD, according to the despicable practices of the nations whom the LORD drove out before the people of Israel.  For he rebuilt the high places that Hezekiah his father had destroyed, and he erected altars for Baal and made an Asherah, as Ahab king of Israel had done, and worshiped all the host of heaven and served them.  And he built altars in the house of the LORD, of which the LORD had said, ‘In Jerusalem will I put my name.’  And he built altars for all the host of heaven in the two courts of the house of the LORD.  And he burned his son as an offering and used fortune-telling and omens and dealt with mediums and with wizards.  He did much evil in the sight of the LORD, provoking him to anger.  And the carved image of Asherah that he had made he set in the house of which the LORD said to David and to Solomon his son, ‘In this house, and in Jerusalem, which I have chosen out of all the tribes of Israel, I will put my name forever.  And I will not cause the feet of Israel to wander anymore out of the land that I gave to their fathers, if only they will be careful to do according to all that I have commanded them, and according to all the Law that my servant Moses commanded them.’  But they did not listen, and Manasseh led them astray to do more evil than the nations had done whom the Lord destroyed before the people of Israel.  And the LORD said by his servants the prophets, ‘Because  Manasseh king of Judah has committed these abominations and has done things more evil than all that the Amorites did, who were before him, and has made Judah also to sin with his idols, therefore thus says the LORD, the God of Israel:  Behold, I am bringing upon Jerusalem and Judah such disaster that the ears of everyone who hears of it will tingle.” 

And then verse 16:  “Moreover, Manasseh shed very much innocent blood, till he had filled Jerusalem from one end to another, besides the sin that he made Judah to sin so that they did what was evil in the sight of the LORD.” 

What does one say about such a man?  What can one say?  Manasseh was the personification of evil.  Can you imagine giving your son up as a burnt offering to an idol?  Add to that the Bible says he “shed very much innocent blood” to the extent he had filled Jerusalem with it from one end to another. 

Why did God drive out the nations from the land which Israel was promised during the days of Joshua often destroying from the face of the earth every man, woman, boy, and girl?  Here we are told in verse 2 (2 Kings 21) it was because of their “despicable practices.” (see also Deut. 9:4-5 and Deut. 18:9-12)  Yet, here we are also told that Manasseh did “things more evil than all that the Amorites did.” (2 Kings 21:11 ESV). 

He made the house of the Lord into a house for idol worship.  There was seemingly no type of idol or heavenly body that he would not worship.  The Bible says “he worshiped all the host of heaven.” 

And then we also have this that he led many, many others into sin for which they would be very severely punished.  No matter what we may think about our own sin I think most of us would do about anything and everything in our power to not be responsible for leading others into sin, for being the cause of their sin.  I know we are that way with our children but I also think we feel that way about others.  No Christian desires to bring harm or hurt to others and certainly not sin which, if unrepented of, would lead to their eternal spiritual condemnation. 

If I repent of sin in my life and yet I have been responsible say for leading my children into sin of which they do not repent how do I live with that?  It would be tough. 

Here we have a man, Manasseh, so evil that our human nature might well lead us to say that we don’t want to see such a man saved.  We want him punished.  We almost hope God will not forgive him for we want to see him punished.  He deserves it. 

However, if we are honest we all know the Bible teaches us that we all deserve to be punished.  We deserve a beating (using the word figuratively); we do not deserve salvation; we ought to be punished for our sins.  “There is none righteous, no, not one.”  (Rom. 3:10 NKJV) 

Let us be honest and face the truth.  I think in about everyone’s life we often do things we know we should not and yet we do it anyway.  We sin.  John says, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”  (1 John 1:8 NKJV)  John was writing to Christians when he said that. 

David Lipscomb made a comment I believe is true.  He said, “I doubt if any man ever lived a day without sins of omission or commission.” (Questions Answered, by Lipscomb and Sewell, page 241)  We often overlook the sins of omission.  They can be as willful as sins of commission. 

Solomon in his prayer of dedication of the temple, speaking to God of God’s children, said “if they sin against you--for there is no one who does not sin.” (1 Kings 8:46 ESV)  That would include you and me.  Solomon then asked that God forgive them upon their repentance (read 1 Kings 8:46-50).  

You and I are no more deserving than Manasseh.  We too often make ourselves out to be someone when we are no one.  We are better than the other guy, so we say to ourselves.  It is laughable when we do such a thing for it is like two thieves comparing themselves.  You are a worse thief than I am for I only stole $100 but you stole $500.  Well, big deal.  The truth is if we could all load our sins up into a truck, every sin we have ever committed, we would not want anyone to climb up and look into the truck bed to see them. 

I used to fear when I was young that there might not be any hope for me when I committed a sin that I was conscious of.  I had read the Hebrews 10:26-31 passage and quite honestly misunderstood it.  The Hebrews passage means exactly what it says but at the point of repentance there is a change. 

Until I repent I remain guilty of the willful sin of Heb. 10:26.  However, when I repent I am no longer trampling the Son of God underfoot nor making light of his shed blood.  At that point in time I am exalting Christ the Son of God and counting the blood of the covenant a wonderful, glorious thing, not a common thing.  Instead of insulting the Spirit of grace I am praising it and giving God glory for it. 

I ask you why did Jesus die on the cross if he was determined to condemn us the very first time we committed a sin knowingly after our gospel obedience?  He may as well remained in heaven had that been the case for who could be saved?  If I believed that was the way it is I would not even bother to type another line for what would be the use.  I would already be condemned without remedy and that some decades ago.  

Under such a scenario there would be no motivation for trying to live the Christian life.  It would be one strike and you are out so eat, drink, be merry, and get ready for hell.  The New Testament teaches when we sin we can repent of our sin, seek God’s forgiveness, and go on and live a life of hope.  I am a willful sinner only as long as I am willfully sinning. 

But, my original point was that you and I have been guilty even after our conversion of sinning, of doing things we know we should not do but doing them anyway.  It does happen.  The fleshly nature of man is weak.  We should not despair.  God will forgive.  It is not hopeless.  Let us take one more look at Manasseh.  

As evil as Manasseh was he repented and God forgave him.  How great is God’s grace?  Can it be measured? 

I read from 2 Chron. 33:12-13, “And when he was in distress, he entreated the favor of the LORD his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers.  He prayed to him, and God was moved by his entreaty and heard his plea and brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom.  Then Manasseh knew that the LORD was God.” (ESV) 

Manasseh had been taken into Assyrian captivity, taken to Babylon, where his afflictions led him to seek the Lord.  When he did with his heart God heard him.  Was his repentance genuine? 

The Bible says, speaking of his return to Jerusalem after his repentance, “And he took away the foreign gods and the idol from the house of the LORD, and all the altars that he had built on the mountain of the house of the LORD and in Jerusalem, and he threw them outside of the city.  He also restored the altar of the LORD and offered on it sacrifices of peace offerings and of thanksgiving, and he commanded Judah to serve the LORD, the God of Israel.” (2 Chron. 33:15-16 ESV) 

God said in the book of Ezekiel 18:21-23, “But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die.  None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live.  Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?’ says the LORD GOD, ‘and not that he should turn from his ways and live?” (NKJV) 

David, a child of God by birth, wrote by inspiration of the Holy Spirit in Psalms 86:5 (NKJV), “For You, LORD, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.” 

I don’t know who is going to be in heaven as far as individuals go.  I cannot name names.  That is not my position.  But I think of two kings, Solomon and Manasseh.  One was a great king for a long while but the Bible teaches that in old age he became an idol worshipper.  The other was as evil a king as one can imagine but in his later years turned to the Lord his God.  When we come to the end of our life how do we want to die?  Do we want to be worshipping God and serving him?  In what state will you and I die? 

Manasseh was a child of God by physical birth into God’s chosen people Israel under Judaism.  You and I are God’s children by means of the new birth.  As God’s child we should never give up on ourselves or other Christians no matter how far away we or they may stray.  God will forgive if we will repent.  

One final thought and then I close.  Do you think Manasseh would ever have had his eyes opened and been led to repent had things continued going well with him and his people?  Setbacks, problems, difficulties, and troubles in our life if used properly can lead us to where we need to be if we will allow those things to humble us to the point of seeking God.  

Seek God and he will forgive.  You cannot be so bad but what God’s grace will be sufficient for you.  Seek God for he is kind and gracious and a forgiving God who takes pity on his children.  Praise his name. 

“Kings of the earth and all peoples;

Princes and all judges of the earth;

Both young men and maidens;

Old men and children.

Let them praise the name of the Lord,

For His name alone is exalted;” 

(Psalms 148:11-13a NKJV) 

Passages for further emphasis -- Joel 2:12-13, Ezekiel 18:21-23 and 27-28

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Seeking Repentance

Awhile back I received a response (a comment) on an article I had posted online entitled "The Hardening of the Human Heart" from an individual who seemed to be truly troubled after reading the article.  I quote the comment I received in its entirety below.

"The sermon i heard was true hard and direct from god i long disobeyed now its too late there is no way to easily deal with this how do i how can i simply ignore what i was told knowing what i choose to do without the power of repentence you can't simply repent i don't want to accept its too late for me to be saved i feel fear and terror knowing its too late for me knowing there is nothing in heaven i can do or anyone can do to help me i am trying to grasp it but its hard for me to understand even i honestly i don't have any words but the pain i am left with . what do i say god remember me"

The above paragraph is a direct quote but it will be easier to understand if you put in the proper punctuation as I take it that English is a second language for the commentator.  First of all, I want to say that while I always try and write the truth from God's word, or about God's word, nothing I write is "direct from God" as per the commentator's words.  I hope I write the truth and try my best but in the end, only the Bible can be relied upon.

With that out of the way, it is obvious the writer is in turmoil and needs help.  Since the writer publicly used his/her name in commenting on my article I will use it here as well since it is easier than referring to him or her, he or she.  The name was Jamie.  Is Jamie's case hopeless?  Jamie seems to feel as though it is.  I do not. 

A case is hopeless when one has totally rejected Christ, is no longer a believer and is not the least bit concerned or worried about sin or his ultimate destiny.  Even then some tragic event or experience in life may turn him or her back to Christ and the gospel.  The parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) gives us some insight into how such a thing can happen.  I think we all know that the father in the parable represents God and the younger son who goes off into prodigal living represents a sinful man who, at least for a time, rejects God.

Jesus in giving the parable says in verse 13 of the prodigal that he "wasted his possessions with prodigal living." (Luke 15:13 NKJV)  The word "prodigal" (Luke 15:13) is used to describe his manner of life in the New King James Version but other translations use words like "riotous living" (ASV, KJV), "wild living" (NIV, NLT, CEV, ISV), "reckless living" (ESV), "loose living" (NASB), "dissolute living" (NRSV), and the NET Bible says "wild lifestyle."  His older brother says he had devoured the father's money with harlots (Luke 15:30 NKJV).  This gives us a pretty good idea of the kind of life he had chosen to lead.

We all know the story if we are familiar with the Bible.  The son becomes destitute to the point of hunger (Luke 15:16) but the Bible says "when he came to himself" (Luke 15:17 NKJV) and began to reason he determined to return to his father and confess his sins with the implication being he had repented.  This took a great deal of humility and involved shame for the failure his life had become.  All pride was destroyed and gone from his life.  He had nothing to be proud of and he knew it.  He had played the role of the fool and had made a complete failure of things but in doing so it brought him to his senses—"he came to himself." (Luke 15:17 NKJV)  He went back to where he belonged—to his home with his father.

We thus have a parable that shows people like Jamie that there is hope of going back to God from a sinful lifestyle.  In fact, Jesus says, "I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance." (Luke 15:7 NKJV)  He again says, "There is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." (Luke 15:10 NKJV)  Man has it in his power to bring joy to heaven.  Jamie has power to bring joy to heaven.  Heaven cares about us.  Just thinking about that is powerful, someone cares.  That is powerful for sometimes we all are inclined to get to thinking “who cares.”  Well, heaven cares.  God the Father, Christ the Son, the Holy Spirit, the angels, all of heaven cares.  The creator cares.

Hear the Holy Spirit as he spoke in the Psalms:

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart-- these, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17 NKJV)  From the tone of Jamie's comments, I think he/she has just such a heart, one God will not despise.

"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit." (Psalm 34:18 NKJV)

I would say to Jamie it is not too late.  God cares about you and you care or else why are you reading religious articles?  You even say, "i don't want to accept its too late for me to be saved."  You care and for anyone who still cares it is not too late.  The person who is lost because of a hardened heart does not care.  You are not in that category.

Jamie seems to think he or she, as the case may be, cannot repent.  Anyone can repent who wills to do so badly enough.  If we are honest we all know sin can be addictive and pleasurable, at least for a season (Heb. 11:25), and very hard to quit.  Add to that the circumstances in which we can at times find ourselves can make it additionally hard to repent.  Let me give some examples.

Drunkenness is a sin but it is also an addiction for some, a physical addiction and quite possibly a psychological one as well although I am not a psychologist.  Gossip, a sin, can be addictive.  What would life be for some without being able to gossip?  Some are addicted to adultery (they are in an adulterous marriage they refuse to repent of and leave and admittedly it would not be easy to do); some have their own personal idols they are addicted to whether it be money, pleasure, or whatever; some are addicted to "selfish ambitions" (see Gal. 5:20 NKJV); some seem to be addicted to judging others and the list could go on and on. 

I think most of us have a sin or set of sins that tempt us greatly, our own particular weaknesses, that are a real battle to deal with.  They are sins we are drawn to.  I think the Hebrew writer may be talking about this when he says, "Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." (Heb. 12:1 NKJV)  Note the writer says of this sin or sins that it "easily ensnares us."  The CEV translation says, "So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won't let go." (Heb. 12:1 CEV)  The Bible commentator Albert Barnes says in reference to this verse, "Every man has one or more weak points in his character; and it is there that he is particularly exposed."  I believe Barnes is right.  The sin that just won't let go, as per the CEV translation, is the sin we are drawn to that tempts us continually and which because of that we have to battle against day in and day out.

It is not at all easy to resist the temptation directed toward our weakness but we can gain victory over temptation and sin through faith in Christ and his strength.  While it is very hard we all know that there have been many who were drunkards, addicted to alcohol, who have successfully been rehabilitated but they fight the battle continually against the urge to drink.

I personally know of a Christian couple who ended their adulterous marriage because of their dedication to Christ and doing what is right.  I think they were married before becoming Christians and one or the other of them did not have a scriptural divorce thus when they married they entered into a state of adultery.  Upon learning the truth about marriage and what constitutes adultery they saw what they must do and did the right thing, unlike Herod and Herodias.  They remain friends and are members of the same congregation.  They no longer are married nor do they live together.

Repentance can certainly be very hard.  It had to be terribly hard for the two Christians I just mentioned but here is another example, a Bible example, showing how difficult repentance can be.  Remember the rich young ruler of Mark 10:17-22 (see also Matt. 19:16-22 and Luke 18:18-23)?  He truly wanted to inherit eternal life.  The Bible also says Jesus loved him (Mark 10:21).  Even so, when Jesus told the young ruler he lacked one thing (knowing the young man loved his wealth) and told him to sell his possessions, give to the poor, and then come follow him the Bible says this made the rich young ruler sad and he went away grieved.  It is or can be very hard to make God number one in our life.  Money had become an idol for this young man and in the end he loved it more than Christ, even more than acquiring eternal life. 

We do people a disfavor when we say or imply that repentance is easy and that it is easy to resist temptation and sin.  If it was easy to resist temptation and sin we could live sinless lives once we acquired the proper knowledge and yet we all do things on occasion that trouble us for we know we were in the wrong and did that which was not right in God's eyes.  Neither Jamie nor anyone else is ever going to live sinlessly no matter how dedicated they may be to living a holy and godly life.  We all sin (1 John 1:8) and chances are when we do most of the time it will be in the realm where we are weakest and most prone to sin.  Those sins that don't ever tempt us, say murder, for example, are not the kind of sins we are going to commit.

Jamie says "without the power of repentence you can't simply repent."  I am not sure what is meant by the power of repentance but suspect what is meant is the will to repent.  There is no magical power of repentance given to anyone by God.  He gives motives for repentance, encouragement for repentance, and blessings for repentance, but does not give one person the power to repent that is not available to all persons.

 The power of repentance lies in the will of man.  Repentance is a personal choice; it is an individual decision.  As I have already said it can be a real battle to repent but it is not impossible for any of us.  It is a choice.  And it is God’s will for Jamie and for all for God is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9 NKJV)  If you are a part of the “any” of this verse God wants you.

We must all forget our past.  It doesn't matter what a no-account you may have been.  It doesn't matter how sinful your life has been.  It doesn't matter what the world may think of you.  None of that matters.  God made each of us in his own image and wants us all to be saved (see 2 Peter 3:9).  He wants us all to come to repentance.  He "desires all men to be saved." (1 Tim. 2:4 NKJV) 

Even Christians must continually be repenting of sin.  David Lipscomb once said he doubted that any man ever lived a single day without sin.  Without trying to make myself a judge of men I suspect he came very close to the truth in that statement.  In fact, the better Bible student you are, the more knowledge you have, the more you realize how short you come in being what God wants you to be, and the easier it is to see the sin you do have and must overcome.

I also want to rid Jamie of any idea that if you truly repented of a sin that once you did so you would never ever again commit that same sin.  It doesn't work that way even though that is the ideal.  The difference between the person who has repented and the one who has not is that the one who has repented fights the temptation and resists committing the sin.  He or she is not always successful in doing so but they fight the fight.  The one who has not repented does not battle temptation at all but readily gives in and engages in the sin.

God does give the Christian help.  "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."  (1 Cor. 10:13 NKJV)  Most translations use the term "endure it" rather than "bear it" at the end of the verse.  I like that better for not only is it true to the Greek (both terms are) but it also tells it like we experience it.  Temptation to sin is something we endure, not something we like or enjoy, for we know when we are tempted it is no fun.  Our spirit is telling us to resist while our flesh is telling us to go ahead and do the sin.  However, the main point of the verse is that there is a way of escape, of getting away if we will take it, so it becomes a matter of our own will.  We can escape if we are willing.  We can win the battle of temptation.

Finally, what does one do if he fails and gives into temptation?  He gets up, dusts himself off so to speak, and says I will not give up but try again to live faithfully.  Of course, he must seek God's forgiveness for the sin he has committed by true repentance and complying with God's other demands for forgiveness which varies for the Christian versus one who needs to obey the gospel.  The Christian repents, confesses his/her sin to God, and prays to God to forgive.  If the sin was against a person then one seeks their forgiveness also and makes whatever amends that can possibly be made. 

Well, what if after doing that he/she commits the same sin again?  The answer is he does the same thing again as he did the first time in seeking forgiveness.  One only obeys the gospel once but one seeks through repentance and confession of sin God's forgiveness many times throughout one's life.  The one thing you never do is give up.  Never ever give up.  Once you give up you are done and lost.

In closing I would say to Jamie and all who may feel like he or she does that God is saying to him/her what he says to all:

"For He says:  'In an acceptable time I have heard you, and in the day of salvation I have helped you.'  Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation." (2 Cor. 6:2 NKJV)

Jamie, now is the day of salvation for you, now while you have life and breath.

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